so this is infatuation

I think about you all the time, but I don't need the same.
I won't tell them your name.

I'm falling for that boy whom I want to witness to. I can just feel that he is such a good person. And he likes classical music. He's conscientious, caring, passionate, interesting, intelligent, beautiful, thoughtful,

you are everything i want, because you're everything i'm not.

but I don't think he'll ever want me. What can I do? I can enjoy his company, enjoy the friendship, and never expect more, but always wish for it.

.








______________________he doesn't love me_________________________








I think I might be okay with this. But I need someone to love me. Why do I fall for the ones who don't love me? Who won't love me?

art reflects life

oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed
TAKE NOTICE, TAKE INTEREST, TAKE ME WITH YOU
but all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight.

they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies
while closing our caskets cold and tight.

BUT I'M DYING TO LOVE



I don't care if those aren't the real lyrics.

witnessing

I have found someone whom I would like to witness to. He does not believe in God at all. I have no idea where to begin. How do you prove God to someone? He is very intelligent, and no washed-up philisophical explanation will work. I am afraid that if I grow close with this person, I may lose my faith. But if I choose not to grow close with him for this reason, I have provided the best grounds for doubt. So I want him to try his hardest to convince me that there is no God, and I pray that he fails. I pray that I can show him that there is a God, and he loves us. I have no idea where to begin.

so I pray...
Lord, please help me show him the truth. I cannot do this without you. Even though I hardly know this person, I do care deeply about him. Please help me save him. Show me the way. Amen.

philosophy

I think the most important thing I have learned in my philosophy class this year is that I cannot simply put off the ideas that are hard to comprehend. And once I start thinking about them, it's not so hard anymore. And then the world makes a lot more sense. It is important to delve the most deeply into the subjects that are the most difficult.

first post

"Blessed are the pure at heart
For they shall see God"
-matthew 5:6

I want to be good so badly. to be unselfish. to love everyone. to be everything i should be. to practice what i preach. to truly love another person. to truly mourn another person. to be everything i should be. to be a responsible soul. to be right. to be special. to be good.

yet selfishly, my main concern is my intense desire to be loved. more than anything, i want to love someone and have them love me in return. i have never been in love. but i want it so badly. to be in love. not to have a stupid boyfriend or a hookup. i want the real thing.

"i want love how it is, a sleep deprivation pain in my chest that is only filled when [his] voice rings through my ear, touches my hand, or slows down to catch a red light so we can have one more second in each other's eyes, and lips"
-stephen christian