You are everything I want, because you're everything I'm not.

Oh my.

He's totally the younger, happier, cuter, Christian version of my Existentialism teacher.

Previously, I was filled with admiration and respect for my Existentialism teacher. He introduced me to philosophy, and he fascinated me in every way. He challenged me, provoked me, tortured me, filled me, soothed me, fascinated me. I did fall in love with him, in a strange, pointless way. I wanted him to respect me. To be fascinated by me.

And now this new person, who I met in Existentialism, with whom I could be very happy, I am sure, reminds me so much of the teacher. He looks similar to him, he speaks like him, he thinks like him, and now, I just found that he signs off on emails like him. Cheers. Who says that? I can only think of two.

But besides that, he is taking the teacher's place in my fascination. He is such a good person. I am constantly reminded of the agnostic, and how they both really are fantastic people. But this new person, this Christian, fills me with hope. Here, after all of my searching, is someone who can finally answer my questions! A thoughtful, intelligent person who believes in God! He is actually incredibly intelligent. I feel stupid around him. Which (not to sound arrogant) doesn't happen very much. But I love it. Not that I feel stupid, necessarily, but that he knows many things I don't, that I can learn from him.

So we have arranged a meeting where we can talk about all of this theology. Over coffee. I'm extremely excited- both to talk about this, and to get to know him. Haha- I'm getting to know both Him and him.

Christian Philosophers

I just went to the Christian Philosophers Society meeting.
I had my doubts.
It was wonderful.

I have never seen such an assortment of genuine, intelligent, thoughtful Christians. So wonderful. People who I could talk about my doubts with. People who could really help me find the answers; people who I could help find answers.
And this guy from my Existentialism class was there. He is wonderful. He was so interesting to talk to, so passionate. I don't know if this is just the start of a new friendship, but I would be very interested in getting to know him much better. I hope I do.

By the way, "mr. mellow" is gone. Nothing ever happened. And now I'm glad it didn't.

scary accurate- from colorquiz.com

Your Existing Situation
Seeks a close and understanding bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy, as a protection against anxiety and conflict.

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Exacting in her emotional demands and very particular in her choice of partner. The desire for emotional independence prevents any depth of involvement.
Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him.
Insists that her goals and realistic and sticks obstinately to them, even though circumstances are forcing her to compromise. Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks the determination and elasticity of will necessary to establish herself and to make herself independent despite the difficulties of her situation. Wants to overcome opposition and achieve recognition.

Your Actual Problem
Needs to be valued and respected as an exceptional individual, in order to increase her self-esteem and her feeling of personal worth. Resists mediocrity and sets herself high standards.