where your treasure lies, there your heart will be also

Yesterday, Michael and I went to see "Where the Wild Things Are." It was a "Movies on the Lawn" thing, sponsored by Aletheia Church. And afterwards he was so strange. Every now and then, I can just feel how confused he is. He gets quiet and avoids people. Someone was trying to talk to him, but gave up. And I said, halfway jokingly, "I think he's trying to figure you out". And he replied, "That makes two of us."

It hurts so much to see him struggling.

After the movie, we went back to his apartment. He didn't talk for a long time. Finally, he told me that he felt like Prince Rilian in The Silver Chair... but unsure whither he was the sane or enchanted Rilian. He said that every now and then, he thinks he sees the world for what it really is, and he's not the type of person that can exist in that world.

Then we listened to the end of a sermon we'd listened to earlier with Camille, and another one. Afterwards, we just sat around and talked for a long time. It was kind of weird, like he wanted me to stay longer. Usually, he's the one to break things off. But even when he noted that it was 4am, he kept showing me different songs, bringing up different topics.

He's not leaving for Orlando. I'm so incredibly relieved. He may be going to Salvation Mountain for a few months in the summer, but he'll be back. And I think it'll be good for him to spend that time with his brother, without distractions.

To be honest, I hope that he'll come back ready. Ready to be with me.