decision

Last night, he came over to watch American Beauty with Brittany, Davina, and I. He left kind of early. During the movie, we were sitting pretty closely- usually our legs or shoulders were touching, but nothing else. And when I went to sleep last night, I could smell him on my pillow. I can still smell him on my comforter.

I'm going to find out what's going on here. If something is going on at all. First, I will ask Andrew. Then, unless Andrew tells me that he's definitely not interested, I'm going to ask Michael. Well, I probably won't ask him anything. I'll probably just tell him that I'm very worried that I care for him much more than he cares for me. And I'll see how he responds.

I prayed last night that if this turns out badly, that God helps me maintain my faith. Because Mike's become so entwined with it. Michael is bound up with my faith and my happiness, my desires and goals, my thoughts... hopefully not inextricably.

Please Lord, I pray that this goes well. I pray that I don't lose You in any manner, no matter what happens.