I wish you would feel the same.

Hmmm.

My friend from high school (Steven) came over last night. To hang out. It was slightly strange, because we have told each other that we had feelings for each other... and still do, to an extent. He has a girlfriend, so I wasn't expecting anything. Or wanting anything, for that matter. But he gave me a lot to think about. We talked about religion, and philosophy, and eating meat [a new subject for us]. And I determined that I've been living hypocritically. So now, I am an ethical omnivore. I will no longer eat meat which has been cruelly obtained. Which means I'll be cutting out most meat in general.

I talked to my friend Andrew online today, for a while. He's the president of the Christian Philosophers society. We talked of meat eating, responsibility, and drinking. He's a very interesting person. I thought he disliked me, but he told me a few times that he thought I was very nice, and funny. He's seven years older than me. But the other day, he said hi to me in the computer lab, and touched my shoulder. And I got butterflies. Confusing. But I'll chalk that up to his elevated status in my mind. Because he's so pious and good, and older, and nice.

I'm going to drink alcohol, enough to feel the effects, for the first time tomorrow night. Not really a big deal, except that it bothers my best friend. She doesn't think I should drink at all. And I talked about it with John, and he doesn't think I should, because of the people I'll be with. But I'm still doing it.

Speaking of John, I prayed for him. In a very selfish way. I prayed that we would fall in love with each other.



Please.




*addendum: I decided not to drink alcohol that weekend. I talked to John about it, and he convinced me that it just wasn't an ideal situation. Maybe later.