You are everything I want, because you're everything I'm not.

Oh my.

He's totally the younger, happier, cuter, Christian version of my Existentialism teacher.

Previously, I was filled with admiration and respect for my Existentialism teacher. He introduced me to philosophy, and he fascinated me in every way. He challenged me, provoked me, tortured me, filled me, soothed me, fascinated me. I did fall in love with him, in a strange, pointless way. I wanted him to respect me. To be fascinated by me.

And now this new person, who I met in Existentialism, with whom I could be very happy, I am sure, reminds me so much of the teacher. He looks similar to him, he speaks like him, he thinks like him, and now, I just found that he signs off on emails like him. Cheers. Who says that? I can only think of two.

But besides that, he is taking the teacher's place in my fascination. He is such a good person. I am constantly reminded of the agnostic, and how they both really are fantastic people. But this new person, this Christian, fills me with hope. Here, after all of my searching, is someone who can finally answer my questions! A thoughtful, intelligent person who believes in God! He is actually incredibly intelligent. I feel stupid around him. Which (not to sound arrogant) doesn't happen very much. But I love it. Not that I feel stupid, necessarily, but that he knows many things I don't, that I can learn from him.

So we have arranged a meeting where we can talk about all of this theology. Over coffee. I'm extremely excited- both to talk about this, and to get to know him. Haha- I'm getting to know both Him and him.